anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
