I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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