Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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