So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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