Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
