Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize