So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
