are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
