would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
