I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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