It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
