I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
