Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
