so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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