i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
