I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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