my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
