Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
