Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
