To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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