The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
