is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
