I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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