thus making me awesome and them whores
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I just found puke in my bra..
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
