Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
