Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
