Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
