It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
