You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
