I hate all girls vehemently.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
