3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
