bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I won the penis lottery.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
