I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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