I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
