doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
