I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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