Hey man sorry I got all grabby
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize