The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
