it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize