Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
