so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize