Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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