As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Are we still banned from the library?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
