You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
