honey bunches of taint.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
