well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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