Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
