I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
