He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize