and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
