Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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