His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
