Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
one might say we're banned from that church
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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