Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
