i just had sex bonerless
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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