Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
