So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
