its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
