I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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