another moral hangover. fuck.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
