well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
