I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
But theres a keg here and me gusta
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
