and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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