I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
