We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
