I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
