He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
